Sorry Sam

“I d-d-d-don’t give a fuck!”, stuttered Jason as he paced into the kitchen. “Just do your job.”

Looking down at the blank paper in front of Sam, she finally and truly regrets side stepping her dreams of being a writer at local non-profit newspaper for a paying gig as a professional apologist.

Jason just got back from vacation and his Spider plant, one of the sturdier plants for the neglectful was on the verge of death when he got home. Jason is a reluctant member of a popular 12 step programs so making amends is pretty important in his life. Or at least appearing to make amends. Jason has clearly missed the point of amends as a part of taking responsibilities for one’s actions and their effect. Instead he has hired Sam to follow him around and write apology letters to “ameliorate” the “meaningful” relationships in his life.

Now it wouldn’t be accurate to say that Jason is evil. Or at least he doesn’t mean to be evil. Jason doesn’t feel. When Jason was 10, he took being a man to the next level and crushed, like a soda can, every single, itty, bitty, feeling, dream, or any other ephemeral aspects of humanity he might have embraced and pushed all that energy down into his left big toe. Which just so happens to have an incurable case of fungus and is persistently ingrown.

Sam beings reading aloud as she writes. “I’m sorry Plant. I neglected you. You know this, I know this, but it is important that I let you know that I know this. You didn’t deserve this and now you are dead.”

“That’s good”, Jason interjects, “Keep going, maybe add something like, ‘if I have hurt you, I am sorry you’re feelings were hurt'‘’”. Jason doesn’t understand how to apologize, an important reason why he hired Sam in the first place.

Sam stops and looks at Jason, “You could always just do a living amends… and just try not to kill the next plant?”. Sam restrains a chuckle to herself at what she thought was a clever “living amends” pun for this dead spider plant.

“No, no, no, the right thing for me to do is fix the things I can in the moment”, Jason stands a little straighter as he pronounces this as he elevates his chin. Meanwhile, since noticing the plant on the verge upon his arrive Jason has yet to water it.